I have tried writing more on my thesis tonight, honestly I have but I cant help reflecting on the past 12 months. I'm awful sentimental and genuinely love reflecting on the past, so New Years is usually one of my most favourite times of year. Over the last week or so I've seen so many people reflecting on 2017 and sharing their favourite moments and I've felt a little envious that I haven't had time to do the same. So instead of doing my thesis I'm taking an hour or so out to reflect.
I've seen so many people online, bashing 2017 and willing it to be over as soon as possible. While there were some pretty crappy things that have happened worldwide like Trump and all the terrorist attacks, for me 2017 was actually quite good. I seen a thread on twitter the other day and the moral of the thread was basically saying not to compare your year to anyone else's, some years in your life are for travelling, some years are for your career, so years are for education, family, personal growth etc. So just because your friend traveled a lot this year and you didn't, that doesn't make your year any less great or doesn't mean you aren't progressing through life in the right order or quick enough. 2017 for me was definitely all about education and to a lesser degree all about personal growth. From January to May, I had without a doubt the toughest semester in college I've ever had, I've never done so many late nights and early mornings trying to get assignments done and solid works, OMG, my solid works module still makes me shiver even just thinking about it! Even though it was one of the crappiest semesters, I had countless breakdowns, was constantly stressed and exhausted and had every moment of my life scheduled to make sure I could fit everything in, I actually came out with really good grades, probably the best semester in terms of grades, that I've had in a long time. I'm still so proud of myself for getting through that semester!
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| Sorry we arrived late and intoxicated, promise we'll behave at the next one Anne-Marie x |
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| Always my best friend x |
Moving into the summer, looking back I can see that was more about personal growth, I moved house, started a new job and put all of my energy into taking care of myself physically and mentally. I lost a stone, grew in confidence and spent my days doing what I love, YouTube, social media and a few blog posts for good measure. August was a super busy month, James graduated, which was absolutely amazing, we went to a graduation ball with all our college friends, followed up by going to my Aunty Vera's wedding in September and another wedding the week after and by the time all that was over I was well and truly in my final year of college.
My last third of the year was again all about education. This semester is very different to last semester though. This year it all feels far more serious and there's a lot less deadlines but there's more expected from you. I'd basically only 2-3 days of college and everything else was up to me. It's been stressful but sure look, there was lots of fun throughout to distract me, like going to Oktoberfest, going out for my Birthday and lots of other random nights in between out too.
I learned quite a lot this year about myself. I've learned that it's ok to love your selfies, it's not vain or self centered. I spent years hating my skin, my teeth, my nose, my forehead my tummy, pretty much everything physically about myself. Even though I'm a bit heavier on the scales these days, my skin still has it's flare ups and my teeth,nose and forehead haven't changed I now actually like how I look. Maybe it's because I'm getting older and a little more mature (at the ripe old age of 23 haha) but I've learned how important it is to love yourself. I've also trained myself (to a certain degree) to stop talking shit about myself in my head. If I try on a dress that isn't flattering, instead of saying something awful about myself, I simply say 'nope not for me' and smile. It may sound silly but I'm honestly so much happier in myself these days because of it and don't get me wrong I still have my off days (don't we all) but they are few and far between thank god.
As well as learning about myself I've also learned more about others. I decided quite early in the year when I was super busy that I'd only be putting time and energy into the friendships and friends that were willing to do the same for me and valued my friendship as much as I valued theirs. I definitely have put quality as a main priority over quantity and I'm much happier for it. I've also learned to accept how my different friendships have changed over the last few years and for the first time I'm actually ok with them changing.
Reflecting on 2017 there's lots of little things I'm proud of. This year my mental health has been the best it's been in probably five or six years, I've recognized some of the triggers to my anxiety and can now stop them in their tracks, I've had the least amount of panic attacks this year than all my years in college and as I said above, I like myself again which is a major win in my opinion. Aside from that, I got to do a lot of fun things this year, I was invited onto the Xpose Beauty Bus and even got a bit of airtime on TV3, I was invited to Pennys HQ to see their Spring Summer '18 collection, I got to go to two weddings, I went to a fancy ball, successfully documented my whole year on my monthly vlog series, I did my friend's makeup for her graduation, went to my first Hen party, went to the spa with my mam, attended my besties first art show and loads of other fun things.
Along with the good can also come the bad, this year I moved house twice which was so stressful, did no travelling as I've been broke AF, done a million stressful assignments and exams, dealt with family illnesses but thankfully this year the good has far outweighed the bad.
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| I have the deadliest friends! |
I feel like 2017 was my last safe year for a while and what I mean by that is next year everything will change. This was the last year that I could kind of predict what would happen. From January to December I'd be here in Limerick in college, whatever little bumps I had along the way, I knew I'd end up here in Limerick in college. In 2018 I'll graduate (fingers crossed) and will have to make my way out into the big bad world and try to find a new normal. Where will it take me, I've genuinely no idea and to be honest that thought absolutely terrifies me. Will I be looking back at 2018 in Limerick? Dublin? London? New York? Back with my parents? Who knows! But this year, this year was safe.
Thank you 2017! x
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